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I will make you to take off your shoes in my house. And never, ever try to get on the bed with your shoes on. I like to use chopsticks in new and interesting ways. Having been taught to use chopsticks before I learned to speak, I consider them to be the best utensils. I don't understand why anyone would eat Flaming Hot etos without chopsticks keeps the etos dust from getting on the fingers. Don't assume I know how to speak fill-in-the-blank-Asian language. I didn't necessarily grow up speaking any language other than English.

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So great. People think you have amazing, otherworldly sex all the time.

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And they're mostly right. You can do each other's breast exams.

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And then have sex after because of all that boob touching, etc. You can scream-sing dorky lesbian anthems together.

What do you mean 3 a. No one can make fun of and also defend The L Word with you like she can.

You'll always have someone to braid your hair. Will the braid look like it was done by a drunken bird? Who the hell knows, but she'll at least give it a shot.

You tell her you have your period and she doesn't look the least bit fazed. Let's be honest, she probably already knew because your cycles are synced up.

Yeah, you got it like that.

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