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But I do know this- if you rely on this idea too much, your dating life will get really confusing. Some Christians take a lot of comfort in the idea that God will do the heavy lifting when it comes to dating. God will tell them if a relationship is right, and God will end it if it's not. All they have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride. This may be the biggest excuse men use for being lazy in relationships, much less finding one.

German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer addresses this issue in a wedding sermon he wrote for his sister from a Nazi jail cell. He says that God joins the relationship between a man and a woman at the point of marriage. Before that, the couple has to take the initiative.

  Christian Dating Myth #5: "A man's sexuality is a ravenous, snarling beast that should be kept in a cage until he's married." I admit I've never heard it put that way, but the implication is out. Single Christian Men in Wharton, NJ. Search the Garden State for your next date today and find a New Jersey single in your area. Whether you're searching for casual New Jersey dating or serious New Jersey relationships, crossfityards.com has millions of smart, sexy and attractive singles meant just for you. Someone You can Love is Nearby. Browse Profiles & Photos of Single Christian Women in Wharton, OH! Join crossfityards.com, the leader in online dating with more dates, more relationships and more marriages than any other dating site.

Rather than directing the course of the relationship, God wants the couple to grow and learn how to make a commitment. Once they've done that, God increases his sustaining presence. I'm not saying that God doesn't have a will regarding your dating life. God may, in fact, have a spunky brunette in mind, and he's steering you toward her as you read this.

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But the Bible does not promise that God will provide a loving relationship for you while you sit around and do nothing. But, as in all things, it's best to ask for his guidance.

The Bible promises he will provide that whenever we ask. Rely on God's love, wisdom, and sustaining presence while you're dating. Though God won't do all the work for you, he'll be with you every step of the way.

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The good news is that most men don't have a problem with this. Regardless of your theology on the Predestination of Girlfriends, you're probably eager to be an active participant in your dating life.

This brings us to our next myth. People didn't date in biblical times, there is no such thing as "Biblical Dating". Dating as a socially accepted means of finding a mate has been around for less than a century. Before that, strict courtship rituals governed the path to marriage.

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Whom you married wasn't even up to you most of the time. Falling in love before you got married or engaged is a twentieth-century concept.

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Dating as we know it occurred after marriage. In college, I had an older professor from Japan whose marriage had been arranged. He made fun of modern dating, saying, "By the time you get married now, the fun is over.

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In an arranged marriage, the fun starts after the wedding! For the Hebrews and the early church, dating wasn't an issue to be addressed in Scripture.

Sex and marriage were, but not dating. When the Bible was written, a person basically had one of three options: remaining single, an immoral life with multiple partners or prostitutes, or an arranged marriage. There were courtship rituals in place, but nothing that looks like what we consider dating today. The church has read a difficult crossroads when it comes to pre-marriage romance.

We no longer have rituals of courtship and arranged marriage to guide us every step of the way. This leaves a lot of room for error. It's also spawned a whole range of opinions and advice on how to handle dating. One glance at the numerous books about love, dating, and marriage suggests that we're making a lot of this up as we go along.

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Of course, there are biblical principles that are essential to dating. If you follow the biblical prescriptions for gentleness, respect, sexual purity, and kindness Gal. Your head and your heart should be in Scripture at all times, but you won't find specific guidelines for dating.

Is it okay to kiss before marriage? The answer isn't in the Bible though the Song of Solomon sure gives us a clue. How about going out on dates alone?

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Nope, not in there either. The Bible provides some crucial relational principles but doesn't address the specifics.

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This requires more decision-making on your part. You can't follow antiquated courtship rituals anymore.

At least I don't advise it. Asking a woman's father if you can date his daughter without consulting her first might be a good way to never get a first date. You also don't have a scriptural field manual that tells you how to behave in every situation.

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It's up to you to be in prayer and conversation with your Christian community about these things. You're going to have to think, talk, pray, and be ready to make some mistakes. Speaking of mistakes, let's look at our next myth.

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If this is true, I screwed up somewhere. I thought my wife was out of my league when I met her. We had a nice conversation, but I left thinking that she wouldn't go out with a guy like me.

Regardless, I didn't get a divine telegram saying, "She's the one! Start picking out china patterns!

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Waiting for God to whack you on the head and tell you whom to marry isn't faith; it's fear. Many people want nothing to do with dating because of the risk and potential pain that it involves. This is certainly understandable, as dating can have traumatic results in unhealthy circumstances. But what do you think serves us better in the long run?

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Growing and suffering in the process of learning or a revelation that lets us off the hook? I would have loved to know that the beautiful woman I was talking to would one day be my wife, but I might not have worked as hard to earn her hand in marriage.

I would have missed a lot of experiences that made me a better man. Be careful if you think God has told you that Betty from the bookstore is the one for you, but you have no idea if she feels the same way. If you plunge in, convinced that you are on a mission from God, and she's not sure yet, it's a quick way to scare her off.

Our unconscious mind can kick up powerful feelings that sometimes get mistaken for a message from God.

Maybe she was nicer to you than anyone you've met in a long time. Maybe she's the first woman you ever met that likes Cracker Jacks as much as you do.

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Or maybe she's just drop-dead gorgeous. Of course, a woman who's nice, white-hot cute, and likes Cracker Jacks might be someone you want to ask on a date. I just wouldn't go ring shopping yet.

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Especially if you want a second date. This is the point where I might tick off some of you, so allow me to assuage your anger before I explain this myth. I am not saying that you cannot or should not be friends before dating.

I'm also not talking about a man and a woman who are interested in each other and agree to be friends for a period before dating.

Some of the most successful relationships begin in friendship. Sometimes you don't even know you want to date someone until you are friends with her.

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I've met couples who were friends for years and then fell in love.

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